Stan Kills Kyle
by Shadowgate
Summary: This is a Halloween Story for you all. Henrietta Biggle OOC.


Stan kills Kyle.

By Shadowgate

…...

Stan sat at his desk angrily. Two weeks ago he saw Wendy with Kyle at Sparks Pond.

He saw them by the lake as he stood behind a tree just peaking.

A week ago he was walking through the mall. He saw them in a corner kissing and he took cover behind a trash can before they could look over and see him.

Now this week he was going to confront his best friend.

Stan picked up his cell phone and called Kyle.

Kyle answered "Hey Stan!"

Stan replied "Kyle hey I was wondering if we could meet somewhere alone?"

Kyle replied "well my parents are out because they took Ike to the hospital. They just called me and said he had appendicitis and he's in surgery now. Come on over to my house and it will be just us."

Stan said "alright."

Stan rushed down to his basement and got an old sword that belongs to his very elderly grandfather. He thought to himself, oh man I'd love to cut Kyle's beating heart out of his fucking chest with this sword. He then giggled and evil laugh out loud.

He rushed over to Kyle's house.

When Stan got to Kyle's house he rang the door bell and Kyle let him in.

Stan asked Kyle "is it possible Kyle that you also are not feeling well?"

Kyle answered "huh? I actually feel great. I just earned this $20 bill for doing big chores around the house."

Stan replied "your brother isn't feeling well however I must ask if you're feeling bad about something? Could it be something such as betraying your best friend?"

Kyle's eyes lit up.

He had a big smile on his face and Stan went on to say "I caught you on two occasions kissing Wendy. The first was two weeks ago at Starks Pond. The second was at the mall."

Kyle then responded "I'm a lying bastard Stan. Three weeks ago Wendy and I started a fling and we've been seeing each other behind your back."

Stan quickly responded "I shall say goodbye to you."

Stan kicked Kyle in the stomach then punched him in the face. Then he swung his sword and blood splattered everywhere because Kyle was decapitated.

Stan grabbed the $20 dollar bill off the table and ran out the door. When he got back home he threw the sword over his backyard gate.

Later that night Officer Barbrady came over and slapped the handcuffs on Stan.

Stan was charged with capital murder. He was informed that night that for robbing and killing Kyle the State of Colorado would be seeking the death penalty even though he was only 10 years old.

The next morning he was brought into court and the charge was read.

Stan Marsh stood up and said "I plead not guilty."

The Judge was none other than Gerald Broflavski.

The district attorney had orange hair.

Stan turned his head and said "oh you're the prosecutor I recognize you asshole. You were in Blockbuster and you tried to convince my dad to kill me and my mom."

The orange haired man turned to Stan and said "now I'm the prosecutor who's going to have you convicted of a brutal murder and executed."

Mister Willis walks up and says "I'll represent Stanly Quinton Marsh."

Token yelled from the audience "don't worry Stan my dad will help you."

Stan said "well thank you Mister Willis now why is the father of the victim presiding as a judge? You're not a judge Mister Broflavski you're an attorney and you work part time as the South Park City Attorney while having your own law practice."

Mister Willis stood up and said "Stan you need to sit down and let me do the talking."

Mister Wills then says to Judge Broflavski "your honor you are the father of the murder victim and it's a conflict of interest for you to be the judge. Furthermore you're an attorney and work part time as the South Park City Attorney while having your own law practice."

Stan stood up and yelled "GODDAMN IT I JUST SAID THAT!"

All the kids in the audience and their parents say "SHH" and Judge Broflavski stated "Stan Marsh you will remain silent during these proceedings or I will have your mouth duct taped and you will get a spanking."

The kids in the audience laugh and Craig yells "SPANK HIM BARE BUTT!"

Stan turns around and says "shut up Craig."

They both flip each other off.

Judge Broflavski grew irritated and said "bring in the jury."

The 12 jurors came in and all were wearing Michael Myers's masks.

The prosecutor stood up and said "I call the defendant's grandfather to testify."

Grandpa Marsh rolled up in his wheelchair to testify.

The DA asked him if the sword belonged to him. Grandpa Marsh affirmed it did and then he asked if the defendant could have had access to it and Grandpa Marsh affirmed he did.

Grandpa Marsh went on to say "Billy and the victim were best friends and he got mad at his best friend so he used my sword to kill him no doubt."

Stan spoke out loud "Grandpa my name is not Billy it's Stan."

Grandpa Marsh said "shut up Billy you committed a murder and you're going to be executed for it."

Stan had a big look of shock on his face.

The children in the audience laughed.

Mister Willis stood up and asked "do you still love Stan Marsh?"

Grandpa Marsh replied "who's Stan?"

Mister Willis had no further questions.

Officer Barbrady was called up to verify that the bloody sword and the $20 dollar bill and Stan's brown jacket and blue jeans all had Kyle Broflavki's blood on them. Officer Barbrady affirmed all was true.

Mister Willis did not question him.

The District Attorney rested his case.

Mister Willis called Wendy Testaburger to the stand.

Mister Willis asked "Miss Testaburger were you cheating on your boyfriend with his best friend?"

Wendy replied "yes I was."

Mister Willis said "your honor I'm now realizing that calling the defendant's girlfriend to the stand may have been a bad idea. Could we have her testimony stricken from the record?"

Judge Broflavski said "the testimony shall not be stricken from the record and I suggest you end your questioning of this current witness."

Mister Willis said "no further questions at this time."

Stan said to Mister Willis "what the fuck are you doing?"

Mister Willis said "I'm going to rest at this time."

Mister Willis stood up and said "the defense rests your honor."

The District Attorney delivered his closing argument.

"The defendant is clearly guilty. The blood evidence on the murder weapon and his clothing prove that. The fact is word got around that the murder victim was seeing the defendant's girlfriend. When the defendant found out he went to the victim's house with a sword and cut his head off. He then stole twenty dollars that the victim had earned doing chores. Armed robbery and premeditated murder makes this capital murder. The State of Colorado calls upon you to find the defendant guilty as charged."

Mister Willis said "we the defense have nothing to offer."

Stan stood up and said "fuck it I admit it I did it."

The judge turned to the jury and said "how do you find?"

The jurors said "we the jury find Stanly Quinton Marsh guilty of capital murder."

Token yelled from the audience "Stan the jury just convicted you so having my dad for a lawyer may not be working out for you after all."

Stan turned around and said "oh no shit Token."

Everybody laughed at the whole situation even Mister Willis.

Judge Broflavski said "we shall hear victim impact statements. We will hear from the four who have been selected to speak on behalf of the murdered victim. Henrietta Biggle, Joshua Burns, Robert Benton, and Bradley Turner will speak on behalf of the victim.

Stan tells Mister Willis to object to the four Goth kids speaking.

Mister Willis stands up and says "your honor these are the Goth kids and they clearly were never friends with anyone outside of their circle. Why on Earth are they testifying?"

Judge Broflavski replied "because they are the four who've been selected" and then he blew a raspberry at Mister Willis.

Stan was in shock.

Henrietta Biggle took the stand.

When the district attorney asked Henrietta Biggle how she felt about Stan killing Kyle she replied "like uh okay we can't allow murder in this community. Kyle was like a totally cool kid and this rotten oh so not cool defendant killed him. That is like so not cool and I think he should get the death penalty for it."

Mister Willis stood up and said "oh it's sure not very Goth to talk like a valley girl."

Henrietta stated "how dare you call me a valley girl! Oh and you're not doing a very good job as a defense attorney so that makes you a poser."

Judge Broflavski said "next we'll hear from Joshua Burns."

The kindergoth takes the stand.

The district attorney asked Joshua how he felt about the murder.

He replied "I'm so young and so full of darkness. Oh how this murder was so brutal and not a good example for a youngster such as me. Stan Marsh you should pay with your own life."

Stan's heart started pounding as he made eye contact with the young Goth kid.

Mister Willis said "no questions."

Robert Benton took the stand and thrashed his red hair before being asked by the district attorney how he felt about the murder.

He replied "must be so painful to have to kill your best friend. You are truly dark Stan Marsh and in a dark grave you should go. You deserve the death penalty."

Stan started trembling.

Next the tall curly Goth kid Bradley Turner took the stand.

He said "Stan Marsh after what you did to your best friend you should fucking die."

Judge Broflavski said "let's not use that kind of language because the defendant is too young for that kind of language."

Stan pounded the table and said "oh I'm too young for cussing but I'm not too young to be tried as an adult and face execution?"

Judge Broflavski ignored Stan.

Judge Broflavski said "it's time for the penalty phase. Should Stan Marsh spend life in prison or face execution? We will hear from the district attorney."

The district attorney said "the defendant brutally murdered a child who was his best friend. The victim was under the age of 12 and under Colorado Law that is an aggravating circumstance. We ask that based upon that you sentence this defendant to death."

Mister Willis stood up and said "under Roper v. Simmons 543 U.S. 551 (2005) a defendant can't be sentenced to death for a murder that he or she committed while under the age of 18. The sentence must automatically be life in prison."

Stan sat back and relaxed.

Then Judge Broflavski asked the jury "what sentence do you hereby impose?"

All 12 answered "death."

Stan stood up and yelled "IT'S UNCONSTITUTIONAL TO SENTENCE A CHILD TO DEATH!"

Judge Broflavski replied "well being the father of the victim I'm more than happy to sentence you to death. Now the bailiff will show you your options."

The bailiff shows a big needle containing rat poison.

Judge Broflavski said "this needle contains enough rat poison to kill an elephant. We can inject it through your left arm and it will quickly go to your heart and kill you quick. Or you can choose a recently built electric high chair. You'll be the first child to actually die in an electric high chair. That's something people have joked about for years and Stan Marsh if you choose the electric high chair you'll literally go out making history."

Stan looks in the far left corner of the court house and sees the electric high chair.

Mister Garrison yelled from the audience "if he chooses the electric chair I volunteer to throw the switch."

Stan replied "thanks a lot Mister Garrison."

Everybody laughed.

Stan said "dude this is pretty fucked up right here."

Judge Broflavski said "I get to watch the bailiff execute my son's killer I don't think it's that fucked up."

Stan said "this is a fucking kangaroo court. I must be…" Stan woke up and looked at his alarm clock and saw it was 5AM.

He got up showered and went over to Kyle's house by 6AM.

When he told Kyle of his very strange dream Kyle just laughed his ass off. Kyle then asked Stan if he had a sword or knife concealed in his jacket. Stan said "no" and then Kyle stated "well even if you did I can honestly tell you I'm not seeing Wendy behind your back."

THE END


End file.
